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国際結婚・婚活情報・Kaiwa-USAフォーラムページ
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こんにちはNaokoです。
サンクスギビングの休暇で
久々にゆっくりしていますが、
“Engaged!”!のニュースも飛び込んできたので
このことも
休み明けにブログの方でご紹介したいと思っています。
おめでとうございます。Mさん、Jさん！
今回は私のコメント控えめで
こんなことがありましたということのみ
お伝えしますね。
ここからが本題です。
↓ ↓ ↓
日本人女性と結婚したいアメリカ人男性向けに
日本の文化や日本人女性のよさをアピールするために
不定期で英語のブログを書いているのですが
私の英語ブログを読んでくださった
アメリカ人女性からメッセージをいただきました。
いろいろな角度から
国際結婚いついて考えるために
是非、シェアーさせてください。
以下、松本の英語のブログ
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Title: Which would you prefer, Japanese women living in the US or Japan?
I received the following message from one of our male members.
“One who lives in States for long time - I like, but too much time here may take away beautiful Japanese woman inside. I don’t want American women! ”
He is right.
Japanese women who have been in the US for a long time may become Americanized.
To be honest, I realized that I am getting stronger than I used to be in Japan. Why? I have been here in the US for more than 5 years! Living in the US is challenging for me. Everyone has to be strong, independent, and confident in order to survive in this country. So I feel compelled to be like an American since I live in the US. However, even though Japanese women who have been living in the US for years may act American, they still have their traditional Japanese soul inside.
Traditional Japanese women are taught by their parents respect, contribution, and loyalty toward their husband. It is said that good wife walks 3 steps behind her husband. Growing up I saw my mother follow that custom. She wakes up earlier than my father, and prepares breakfast everyday. She does not start eating before my father has his chopsticks in his hand. She always takes a bath after he does. She doesn’t go to bed before he does. When he leaves for his office in the morning, she opens the gate for him and waves good bye until his car disappears around the corner. She opens the door for him when he returns home. She tells her children to listen to their father. She always says “Yes” to him because she knows following my father’s opinion creates a harmonious relationship. In Japan, wife and husband are not exactly equal, but there is good harmony in the family.
I learned Japanese ways of showing respect, contribution, and loyalty from my parents, and I know that is why my parents continue their marriage for a long time. And I appreciate it and I try not to forget what my parents taught me even though I live in the US.
For better or for worse, living in the US makes Japanese women stronger and more American. Fortunately, I like to think, most Japanese women still retain their traditional Japanese values inside their heart.
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以下、女性からのメッセージ（文字化けは削除しました。）
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Name: Tara
Birth Year: 1978
State: Massachusetts
Nationality: American
Dear Ms. Matsumoto and Mr. Miyata. My name is Tara Pellegrino, and I am an American woman from North Andover, Massachusetts. I have always enjoyed learning about different cultures, and have found that the internet is a useful tool for learning about them. On Ms. Matsumoto's blog, there was recently a quote from an American man that worried me....ne who lives in States for long time - I like, but too much time here may take away beautiful Japanese woman inside. I don’t want American women! The question that begs to be asked is, why is he thinking of all American women and their families the same way? Or, as we sometimes say in English, why is he "painting all of them with the same brush?" It's great that he finds Japanese women to be beautiful inside, but this man should be able to recognize that there is beauty in each American family and woman. He seems to be running away from American women, and I'm not so sure that this is a healthy attitude. A healthy sense of one's own culture is a foundation for a healthy sense of other cultures, like the Japanese culture. My worry is that once the "honeymoon" stage of his relationship with a Japanese woman is over, he might judge Japanese women the same way he seems to be judging American women. I'd question whether this guy is really mature. At this point you might be thinking, "But, but, Tara...how can you possibly come to this conclusion after reading just one little comment?" You are right, I will hold back from making a final conclusion so early. Still, I worry..... In that blog, Ms. Matsumoto also reflected on her own Parents’smarriage. It's wonderful that they have been married for so long and have a harmonious marriage. It's important to remember, too, that different cultures can define harmony in different ways. I come from a cultural background (Italian-American) that is highly verbally expressive. When a person is preparing to host people, as they are pulling dishes out of the oven, I can see their eyes fill with anticipation of the loud and lively voices that will soon fill the house. For Italians/Italian-Americans it's a simple pleasure, and if anything, the goal is for the conversation to be as flavorful and as hearty as the food we eat. Communication is freer and more direct than Japanese communication, but it's not a sign of disharmony. In fact, in the Italian culture, families (and groups in general) tend to be very close. Discussions and debates actually create a certain bond in our groups. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedules to read my thoughts. Good luck with the work you do. Sincerely, Tara.
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今回はご紹介のみ
コメントは次回以降に致しますね。
Naoko 幸せプロデューサー
アメリカ国際結婚・婚活サポート